Burnin' down the house

So it's been a shamefully long-ass time since I bothered to blog anything. I'm here to rectify that indignity thanks to getting a fire lit under my butt by the good people at www.poptimal.com, who have chosen me to write the occasional TV and movie review for them. Unless they scold me and say otherwise, I'll post here as well (I might just post the link whenever they actually publish me). My first assignment from them is to throw down weekly recaps of USA's Burn Notice, so here for your pleasure is the first of many new writings from an exciting new venture!

Burn Notice Season 2 Ep3 “Trust Me”

There are plenty of reasons to watch USA’s sophomore season summer hit Burn Notice. My personal fave? Bruce Campbell. Yes, the god of B-Movie fandom, star of the hallowed Evil Dead trilogy and maker of delightful cameos in the Spider Man trilogy, has returned to the role of wisecracking TV sidekick that he played so well on Hercules and Xena. But Bruce’s delightfully hammy antics are more of a side dish at this luau. Burn Notice is the story of Michael Westen (Jeffrey Donovan) a spy who, having crossed the wrong people, gets “burned”. In the words of the show’s intro, “When you're burned, you've got nothing - no cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in.” For Mike, that city is Miami-- home to partners Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar) and Sam (Cambell!), his femme fatale ex and a slacker buddy who’s often harboring his own intentions. Also in the mix is Maddy (Sharon Gless), Mike’s hyper-neurotic meddling control freak of a mom who frets over his every move and chain smokes enough to make the cast of Mad Men blush. The show works around the central concept of Mike’s quest to discover who burned him. However, the hunt quite often takes a back seat to his adventures in low end mercenary & PI work. It’s essentially The A-Team meets Alias, but the season 2 cast addition of Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Helfer as Carla, an operative for Michael’s burn-ees, promises to hopefully take things a bit deeper.
This week, things get very Matchstick Men with Mike playing two unrelated but equally delightful shell games: a charity case helping an acquaintance recoup losses from a nightclub financing scam, and a personal errand practicing some friendly extortion on a Pakistani spy (Entourage’s Assaf Cohen) for intel on Carla’s past. The club scam gives Donovan a fun chance to flex his acting chops as he takes on the role of a spoiled oil heir, and the show’s oft-used technique of giving helpful espionage tips via voiceover provide some delightful insights on the art of double crossing a con man. The Pakistani errand provides a lighthearted chance for Mike to make a new friend in Miami cloak and dagger circles, and I personally hope to see Cohen show up as an ally in future episodes. Per the show’s usual, Maddy is given a cloying “C” plot, an attempt to discern why Mike & Fiona broke up. It’s all slightly formulaic, but like so much other summer entertainment, it’s also quite snappy and satisfying. In short, Burn Notice remains an enjoyably harmless summer treat with enough explosions and babes to keep half the population happy, and enough romantic tension and family drama to satisfy the fairer sex. Check it out.

Episode: B-
Show: B

This article first appeared on Poptimal and can be found at http://poptimal.com/tv-shows/burn-notice/ The article was reprinted with permission. More >

Caspian, See?

Review: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Author’s note: I’m not feeling up on my writin’ game as much as usual, so this review kinda slurries into stream of consciousness comments after a while. Enjoy nonetheless. Also, I don't feel like italicizing titles. Wanna fight about it?

With the release of 2005’s The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, the Chronicles of Narnia put themselves in the right place at the right time to potentially occupy the power vacuum created by the conclusion of Peter Jackson’s brilliant Lord of the Rings trilogy. Based on C.S. Lewis’s beloved saga that no child should go without reading, TCoN are the tales of British schoolchildren circa WWII who find themselves whisked off to a land of talking beasts, noble centaurs, fearsome witches, and the like. Unfortunately for the Hollywood suits, LW&W is by far the most famous book in the series and Prince Caspian, while entirely essential for the saga’s plot momentum, is probably its shortest and shallowest entry. Fortunately, that literary setback has proved to be a cinematic boon, as the new film incarnation is quite nearly a triumph. Sure, it could have used more Aslan, and the vast majority of Susan & Caspian’s (completely non-book) chaste tweener flirting made me taste bile, but Peter Dinklage continues to prove himself the awesomest midget in showbiz as he steals scenes playing Trumpkin and mere words simply cannot convey my love and admiration for Reepicheep, Narnia’s resident talking mouse badass, who comes to life in all his 18 inches tall glory rendered in great CGI and given speech by the talented Eddie Izzard. Also fun: watching the Spaniard-esque Telemarine baddies make intricate power plays for the throne as usurper king Miraz devotes himself to taking out nephew Caspian and his wacky Narnian buddies. Finally, Prince Caspian probably features the most badass fantasy combat that will ever swing a PG rating. Good stuff.

Given TCoN:PC’s relatively disappointing inital box office (truly a shame, because it deserves to be, and I feel will still eventually become) a family fantasy classic, I just hope to god that the powers that be see fit to keep rolling with the Narnia adaptations. Because I’ve had me a taste of Reep and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader has gots so much more.

Grade: B+

More >

Meg Ryan & Billy Crystal. Remember them, kids?

When Rob Reiner asked his mom to make a cameo in When Harry Met Sally, he probably didn’t imagine that he’d be immortalizing her in every other cinematic comedy montage for the duration of time. Her adorable response to Meg Ryan’s very public fake orgasm in a deli is so simple yet so hilarious: “I’ll have what she’s having.” There are probably millions of people who would recognize that scene and that line with little to no awareness that there was apparently an entire movie surrounding that moment.

Indeed there was, and a rather good one at that. When Harry Met Sally is the delightful tale of two people (Harry & Sally, natch) who have a chance meeting in the late 70’s, again 5 years later, and then 5 years after that. Not until the third meeting are they ever more than a random byte in the other’s memory, but the friendship they eventually develop becomes a heartfelt and clever character study in life, love, men, women, sex, marriage, karaoke, pecan pie, and the hazzards of Pictionary.

Almost all credit for the film’s enduring success should fall squarely upon the shoulders of stars Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal (the latter of which really needs to get off his ass and host the Oscars again). The way they portray Harry & Sally’s journey from antagonists to acquaintances to friends to lovers is truly something to behold. The only downside to this movie is its stubbornly amoral position on sex and male attitudes. No, I do not want to sleep with every woman I meet, yes I do have plenty of female friends who I regard in completely non-sexual terms, and no, sex is absolutely not a foregone conclusion in a dating relationship.

When Harry Met Sally is something of an enigma. Very much a product of its time, the film is steeped in 80’s era post-feminist Me Decade sexual mores. However, it also manages to become something timeless, a study of friendship and true love as they evolve over the years. It has an overly indulgent sense of itself, yet maintains a whimsical and relatable charm. These positive aspects of the film’s nature are so strong that they have firmly entrenched When Harry Met Sally as a contemporary rom-com classic worthy of being mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Annie Hall and The Philadelphia Story.

Grade: B+

More >

Fishing for Oscars

Review: Atonement



Anyone who has paid more than a passing glace at the history of the Academy Awards, especially in the past couple decades, can’t help but notice a few key elements that, when applied to a film in the correct proportions, almost guarantee a slew of nominations and the mixed blessing label of “Oscar Bait”. For your ease and convenience, I will present a list of those characteristics that you can apply to any film you might be watching to ascertain its chances of Oscar gold, along with a few examples to prove the rule.

Foreign Accents (especially British) __

War (especially WWII) __

Disability (Mental or bodily-- Either does the trick, both and you write a thank you speech) __

Physical adaptations (neck twitch, big nose, gain weight, lose weight, cross-dress, etc.) __

Aging over several decades (makeup preferred, but good recasting is acceptable) __

Death of a main character __

Based on a novel or true story (double bonus if based on popular biography) __

Adding a strong romantic element to any of the above characteristics will result in multiplying the total by a factor of 1.1 for the presence of each of the following that exists between parties: socioeconomic disparity, physical distance, and/or all around star crossed ill-fated-ness.

Judging by this exacting and scientific system, recent BAFTA champ and Oscar hopeful Atonement scores a hefty 6.5 out of 9.1 theoretical Bait Points possible (all time Bait Point leader The English Patient scores a 7.8, in case you were wondering). Anything over 4, and you’re probably watching a film headed for at least that many nominations. But all this begs the question: are such bait-tacular flicks worth watching? The answer is the ever frustrating “it depends”.

Atonement is an undeniably classy and well produced tale of love, war, and the majority of other stuff on the list. It feels a bit too “been there, awarded that” at times, but a few elements help it stand out above many comparable films. 13 year old Saoirse Ronan brings surprising depth and subtlety to her performance as a girl whose selfish and childlike understanding of the world fatefully clashes with new feelings of jealousy and romance, and a six minute single take tracking shot of a battle’s aftermath is one of the most visually stunning and technically astounding acts of filmmaking in years. But the ending is kinda up its own ass, and regardless of Atonement’s merits, I think the vast majority of the public have had their fill of class struggle, sprawling manor houses, and their hyper-British ilk.

Grades -- Saoirse: A, tracking shot: A+, Atonement: B-

More >

There Will Be Brogue

Review: There Will Be Blood

Paul Thomas Anderson, the eclectic visionary behind Magnolia, Boogie Nights, and Punch Drunk Love, is not the sort of director anyone would call ordinary. Likewise Daniel Day-Lewis, the reigning king of method acting and denial of the Hollywood norm (the man once went off the grid for a couple years to become a cobbler in Italy. Serious.) Put the both of ‘em together and you get There Will Be Blood—a sprawling study in ambition, greed, and the California oil industry at the dawn of the 20th century.

The film opens with a visually stunning, dialogue-free scene of Daniel Plainview (Lewis) working solo to establish an oil well in the midst of god knows where. It masterfully establishes the setting, and frames Plainview as a man of hard work and dedication. Then he has to go and open his damn mouth.

There’s no denying that Daniel Day-Lewis is a fine actor. His commitment to getting inside the skin of his characters is admirable, and all of his hard work and research pays off. From early on, you can sense that this is a man who will simply not tolerate being second guessed, ordered around, or denied his own way, no matter how long it takes for him to have his vengeance. However, in portraying this ruthless man of early industry, he takes the performance one crucial step too far: a freaking wretched accent. Imagine Sean Connery doing an American accent for local theatre and you’re in the ballpark.

Putting all vocal misgivings aside, there is plenty to admire about TWBB. Especially supporting turns from Paul Dano, Little Miss Sunshine’s sullen mute, as a fire & brimstone preacher out to save Plainview’s soul (and maybe snag a little tithe action to build a new church), and a vastly underused Ciaran Hinds as his #2 man on the business side of things. I also was taken with Anderson’s shooting style and use of light, both of which make the film very immersive and natural.

As it stands, There Will Be Blood shows the potential to become another “industrialist descends into madness” classic in the vein of Citizen Kane and The Aviator, but its stubborn focus on character over context (and that kooky voice) robs the film of much of its power and makes portions of its nearly 3 hour running time feel like a chore. Get out and see it for Oscars homework, but pray for a snappier director’s cut DVD.

Grade:B- More >

Suck it, Godzilla.

Review: Cloverfield



Last summer, every red blooded explosion lovin’ filmgoer lucky enough to catch the twisted metal spectacle of Transformers on the big screen got a taste of something much more ambiguous and beguiling before the title credits rolled-- a trailer featuring home video of hot 20-something New Yorkers at a party who experience serious buzzkill when something ominous and rumbly goes down. Viewers left knowing only three tantalizing facts: the threat was alive, huge, and able to pimp-smack the Statue of Liberty’s head clean off its shoulders. Yikes.

Now that Cloverfield’s fabled 1-18-08 release date has come and gone, did the finished product justify the hype? Pretty dang much. I can safely say that I have never been as scared at the movies as I was during Cloverfield. These weren’t just cheap, jump in your seat scares. These were scares of the deeply unsettling variety with a healthy dose of claw-the-theater-armrest intensity mixed in. And despite all justifiable comparisons to The Blair Witch Project, Cloverfield’s engaging performances, near-flawless special effects, and cinematographic wit should cement it as a genre classic as opposed to the pop cultural “wow, I can’t believe we thought that movie was cool back in 1999” flash in the pan that was Blair Witch. Honestly, my biggest complaint would have to be the utterly pointless title. They might as well call theoretical sequels Toasterblouse and Monkeybasket.

Grade: A-

Scroll down a tick to read John's post from last Friday that included the trailer, and enjoy whatever else you happen to find along the way! More >

She's Back

Review: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Holy Sarah, Mother of John, kill for us now, and at the hour of the apocalypse, amen. That prayer would find itself on the lips of billions if they only knew what was to come. Self aware computer networks, nuclear war, and a ruthless army of cyborgs out to erase the stain of humanity from Earth. If that doesn’t sound familiar, know that you haven’t stumbled onto another nuts-ass conspiracy theory blog, you just probably haven’t seen Terminator.

The images, plot, and catch phrases of James Cameron’s seminal 1984 action/sci-fi masterpiece and it’s even better 1991 sequel (in fact, the only sequel other than Godfather 2 to appear on one of AFI’s lists) have become so deeply rooted in American culture that they are practically responsible for Arnold Schwarzenegger’s rise to the governorship of Coll-ee-forn-ya. And just as essential to the franchise’s success as Arnold was the dynamic performance of Linda Hamilton as Sarah Connor, an average gal fated to bear and raise John Connor, military savior of humanity against our robotic oppressors.

As Sarah transformed over the series from a poufy haired waif to a hardened and ruthless freedom fighter, albeit one with an oceans deep maternal streak for John, she became one of cinema’s most iconic female heroes. After Terminator’s monumental success, including a Sarah-free third entry in the series, it would seem a fool’s errand to try reducing a saga so grand to the level of episodic TV. But that hasn’t stopped the good people at Fox from marching forth and sending Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles into homes each week.

Starring 300’s Lena Headly and Heroes’ Thomas Decker (but to me he’ll always be the kid from the Honey I shrunk The Kids tv show starrring Peter Scholari. It exists. Wiki it.) as Sarah and John, the show kicks in sometime after the projected coming of Judgment Day with mother and son attempting to settle in to a life free of robot fears, but still on the lam from human authorities. But before you can say hasta la vista, it all hits the fan and they’re again pursued by one cyborg and protected by another (Firefly’s Summer Glau, who shows potential, but has yet to match the skill she displayed in Joss Whedon’s cult space western.) A kicky (and spoiler-ish) twist in the pilot promises to put an interesting spin on the storytelling, and a deep respect for the scenarios laid out in the first two movies should keep fans happy. Those who would dare complain about discrepancies and plot holes lost all right to do so when they declared their fandom for a series rooted around the concept of a soldier going back in time to conceive the man who sent him there in the first place. That sound you hear is Albert Einstein’s head exploding in the grave.

The show isn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but excellent production values, competent performances, the potential for compelling plotlines, and the occasional stab at psychological depth make The Sarah Connor Chronicles worth watching for sci-fi action fans or just those in need of some original drama in the current primetime desolation.

Catch it Mondays at 9, 8 central (Paolo).

Grade: B

More >

I Am Lucrative

Review: I Am Legend

The 2000’s (or whatever the hell it is we’re deciding to call this decade) have been good years to be a zombie. No longer relegated to the lumbering brain munchers of George Romero’s heyday, the zombie of the new millennium is a fleet-footed nightmare of unbridled rage and agility. The trend that started with Danny Boyle’s indie sensation 28 Days Later and was perpetuated by Zach Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead remake has now been fully embraced by the mainstream thanks to the presence of sprinting specters in current holiday megahit I Am Legend.

Specifically, Legend’s (serviceably computer generated) ghouls are not the reanimated dead, but rather the victims of a manmade virus that reduces its host to the dirty lovechild of Gollum and a velociraptor. That should sound familiar to fans of 28 Days Later, as the base concept is nearly the same. Likewise, both films share a love of long shots depicting cities in a state of abandonment and dereliction. What keeps I am Legend from becoming an Americanized knockoff is likely the same reason for its stunning financial success: Will Smith.

The onetime Fresh Prince continues to expand his multi-genre dominance into the realm of apocalyptic survivalist horror with his perfectly realized portrayal of Robert Neville, a Marine virologist with genetic immunity to said zombie plague. As the sole uninfected habitant of Manhattan, Neville devotes his days to seeking a cure and his nights to seeking shelter from the sunlight-averse infected. What makes Smith’s performance so dynamic is how he simultaneously captures two sides of the character: a brilliant and dedicated scientist, soldier, and survivor who will not rest until personally undoing the damage humanity has wrought upon itself, and a man experiencing the steady breakdown of his social skills and sanity whose only friends are his dog and the mannequins he chats with at Blockbuster.

Special recognition must be paid to I Am Legend’s innovative storytelling that doles out the backstory of society’s decline through a combination of simulated news broadcasts, embedded clues visible as Neville goes through his daily routine, and flashbacks to the moment that began his trials. All serve the purpose of making the film a richer, more interactive experience than it would have been if served only by a prologue or a screenplay that went directly from points A to B.

In the long view, the somewhat derivative charms of I Am Legend might not stand up over time besides the likes of apocalyptic classics like Planet of the Apes, Mad Max, or (there it is again) 28 Days Later, but it is an admirable character study, a stark thriller, and another notable stop on Will Smith’s road to cementing himself as the most popular and reliable movie star in decades.

Grade: B

More >

Two Boobless Hours

Author's note: If you find the title either senseless or offensive, you need simply to watch more Family Guy and all will become hillariously clear. (I tried to embed the clip, only to find it pulled from YouTube. Thanks, Fox.)



Review: Citizen Kane

For certain film buffs, myself included, the American Film Institute's annual CBS specials celebrating "100 Years, 100 ______" are an occasion matched only by Christmas and birthdays. 2007's list was particularly interesting in that it threw out the previous list of top 100 American Movies, added more recent fare to the mix, and re-voted. Hello Lord of the Rings, goodbye Doctor Zhivago. The most interesting aspect of the list was that while many films' rankings rose, fell, debuted, or disappeared, Citizen Kane remained number one. With that much acclaim on its shoulders, I finally felt I had no recourse but to track down a copy at the library and see what all the fuss is about.

In case you hadn't heard, Citizen Kane is the story of Charles Foster Kane (Orson Welles), a man taken from his parents at an early age to lead a life of prestige and luxury, eventually becoming a newspaper publishing tycoon. What makes the movie so unique, notable, and enduring is how it tells Kane's story: start with a man's dying word, "Rosebud" and then follow a reporter's journey to assemble the puzzle of Kane's life to see what could be important enough to occupy the last thoughts of one so powerful.

For those who have no idea who or what Rosebud is, stop what you're doing and go rent this movie lest the ending get spoiled for you. Tragically, pop culture has been conspiring against the uninitiated and Rosebud has been referenced everywhere from children's fare like Peanuts and Animaniacs to classic TV such as Cheers-- Frasier once spoiled the ending to everyone in earshot. Regardless of the hype, the twist holds a psychological wonder equal to the endings of The 6th Sense and Planet of the Apes (and much like those films, the clues are there all along if you're looking for them).

A movie can't live on its twist ending alone (you don't see The Crying Game on the AFI list) and Citizen Kane realizes this, packing a deep and satisfying story in between its Rosebudded bookends. Wells, doing triple duty as director and co-screenwriter, helps pioneer the technique of putting actors through varying stages of aging makeup to span events across decades, a technique later adopted by Forrest Gump and A Beautiful Mind, among others. The cast handles this marvelously; every late in life characterization makes the viewer desire to see how they came to be the way they are.

The story's themes of power overshadowing responsibility and the need to be loved overshadowing sanity serve as both reflections of historical figures such as William Randolph Hearst and Howard Hughes and inspirations for great entertainment to come such as Spiderman and The Office (Michael Scott = Charles Kane – money. Think about it.) Technically, Wells' innovative camera work, editing, and use of focus are still inspiring directors like David Fincher and Quentin Tarantino.

While its worthiness to be declared Best American Film Of All Time will surely be debated for the duration of history, there is no denying that few films will ever influence culture and move audiences quite like Citizen Kane continues to do, over 65 years after its release, and that alone merits a high status on anyone's list.

Paul's Grade: A



On an unrelated note, this trailer represents a strange trend I have noticed in vintage films: trailers that violate the 4th wall and serve a function closer to what modern audiences might expect from a DVD featurette. I might blog more on it later. It'll help me get over the scars sustained from hearing an old-timey studio suit referring to Miracle on 34th Street as "groovey". Ugh. More >

How to Defeat Communism Without Really Trying

Review: Charlie Wilson's War

The movies exist to bring people together in the communal act of laughing, crying, and screaming together. Politics exist to drive people apart in the tribal act of laughing, crying, and screaming at each other. So when Hollywood tries bringing Capitol Hill insight to the multiplex, the results are seldom pretty.

Nearly all political movies fall into two categories: those that stick to a specific credo and proceed to ram it in your face (see the recent failure of Lions For Lambs or the bizarre rantings of Oliver Stone’s JFK), and those like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and Dave that take an airy, idealistic stance that seldom goes deeper than “ain’t America grand!” While the latter are often an enjoyable and uplifting experience, you can’t claim to have learned much about what makes the USA tick.

There is, however, a rare and wonderful middle ground: movies that put quality first, but at the same time enrich the viewer via some degree of depth regarding history, politics, war, and life. Dr. Strangelove was one of those movies, as were M*A*S*H, Platoon, and Wag the Dog. Now as America begins to put the events of the last decade into perspective, the excellent Charlie Wilson’s War is well poised to join their ranks.

Building on Mike Nichols’ solid directing and Aaron Sorkin’s brisk, witty screenplay, Tom Hanks robustly embodies real life congressman Charlie Wilson who, in the early 1980s, found himself an unlikely co-conspirator in a secret effort to fund Afghani rebels in their fight against the Soviet Union, paving the way to the end of the Cold War. Along for the ride are Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a hilariously blunt CIA analyst and Julia Roberts as an irascible socialite who seems to believe that she can defeat communism through the sheer force of her fundraising dinner parties.

Charlie Wilson is a hard drinking womanizer whose greatest accomplishment throughout six terms in congress is “getting reelected five times” but during a bout of coke addled hot tubbing in Vegas, a news report about the futile efforts of the mujahideen to repel their oppressors catches his eye, leading Charlie to flex his power on a defense appropriations committee to lend them a hand. The escalation that follows is a stranger than fiction ride through black ops, tenuous international relations, and stunning echoes of what Afghanistan would become in the years leading up to 9/11.

And did I mention that it’s really funny? Buoyed by its sense of humor and dependably top notch performances from its stars, Charlie Wilson entertains, teaches, and gives a wide range of insights to ponder, all while clocking in at an effortless 97 minutes with no time left over to get preachy or sluggish. With its slew of Golden Globe nominations, Charlie is sure to stay visible throughout awards season. And as long as there are teachers in the world as cool as the ones I’ve had, it should earn immortality as a great way to spend a couple periods in high school and collge history classes. Don’t miss it.

Grade: A-

More >