Friday, April 25, 2008

Idaho Secrest and the Kingdom of the Bacony Salt

Regular reader(s?) of this blog will fondly recall a brief and inexplicable obsession with bacon sparked by John's discovery of the existence of Bacon Salt, a no calorie vegetarian product with the promise of making damn near anything taste of freshly grilled hickory smoked fatty pig scraps goodness. Well, after a search that led me through 2 states, at least four cities, and some of the snowiest roads Idaho has ever seen, I finally bought some at a vegetarian food store buried deep within what can almost only be described as a compound owned and operated by the Seventh Day Adventists. The ingredients read like the appendix of a chemistry textbook, and I was of the firm belief that MSG had fallen out of favor along with asbestos and saccharine, but it certainly smells awesome (more on the taste after some clinical trials) and after the amount of research and questing I went through, it damn near felt like finally getting my hands on the Holy Grail or the Ark of the Covenant (or, I suppose, whatever those stupid freaking rocks were in Temple o' Doom). Yay for Bacon Salt!
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Friday, April 11, 2008

Summer Movies '08: Paul's Take

Bet you thought I was dead or something. Nope! Just hella busy (not to mention a dearth of a damn thing in theatres worth watching). Regardless, here's my initial impressions of the stuff I will be giving a crap about this summer movie season (note the pointed lack of Sex and the City). Read the rundown after the jump (for those who don't know, that means click "More>").

Note: Titles with parenthesis are maybe/pass.

(88 Minutes) -- Al Pacino mystery/thriller. Don Corleone can be kinda hit or miss these days.

(The Forbidden Kingdom) -- Jackie Chan and Jet Li team up in a fantasy adventure. Love Jackie, kinda dislike Jet, it's a maybe.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall -- The Judd Apatow camp can practically do no wrong, and I'm encouraged to see Jason Segel, my fave actor on How I Met Your Mother, to break out as a star.

Baby Mama -- Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, 'nuff said.

Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay -- April is a good time to be a comedy fan. Can't wait to see what that crazy Neil Patrick Harris is up to this time!

Iron Man -- This will be a banner year for Robert Downey Jr. More on that later.

(Speed Racer) -- The makers of The Matrix take on a retro anime nascar vibe. And there's a monkey. Might be too weird not to see.

Prince Caspian -- Reepicheep! Reepicheep!

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull -- Dr. Jones! Dr. Jones!

The Happening -- M. Night Shyamalan tries to put his lightning back in its bottle.

The Incredible Hulk -- CGI Smash!

Get Smart -- All hail Steve Carell, king of retro sitcom remake casting genius. Not that I ever got the nerve to see it, but I believe sources that said his Paul Lynde impersonation was the best thing about Bewitched.

The Love Guru -- I want to believe that Mike Meyers has more than Shrek sequels left in him and trailers make me believe that this could have the same wtf non sequiter dialogue gold that made Austin Powers so great.

Wall-E -- Disney/Pixar. 'Nuff said.

Wanted -- Angelina Jolie + cars + guns + Morgan Freeman = magic

Hancock -- Will Smith as a superhero who also happens to be a homeless drunk. Great cast, great concept, fingers crossed.

Hellboy 2 -- Slick fantasy action and the most lovably badass demon since... yeah, kinda in a class by himself there.

(Meet Dave) -- Eddie Murphy playing multiple roles (tiny alien spaceship captain and his humanoid mech suit) and it might not be garbage? Truly we are living in strange days. Then again it might blow, hence the ().

The Dark Knight -- Sucks Heath Ledger died, but at least he'll live forever as a (pun just a little bit intended) bat-shit crazy interpretation of The Joker.

(Mamma Mia!) -- Joyous celebration of slick retro hits, or just really really really gay. Jury's out.

(Step Brothers) -- Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly reunite after the wonder of Talladega Nights, but is Will wearing out his welcome?

(X-Files 2) -- Never a huge fan of the show, but it was such a pop cultural force in its time, it might be worth a look.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor -- I'm all in favor of Brendan Fraser, Asian wizards, and CGI yeti fights, so I'm down.

Pineapple Express -- Stoner comedy/crime caper again with the blessing of St. Apatow, this time with Seth Rogen & James Franco.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars -- All CGI lost chapters from the era betwixt episodes 2 and 3. Daddy needs his Yoda fix.

Tropic Thunder: The trailer left a little to be desired, but who could resist its Three Amigos meets Apocalypse Now plot and Robert Downey Jr. (see! toldja!) going cross racial.
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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Lighthouse in Kauai, Hawai'i
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Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Los Angeles Skyline. More >

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Corrupted Comics: If the Shoe Fits, You May Be A Fattie

You may be familiar with Andy Warhol's use of repetition in his art (see below). I can't remember why he did it, but it was probably to comment on perspective and phenomenological issues of perception.

While reading Shoe today, the punchline seemed dull, so I quickly substituted a quick insult: You're fat. Much funnier. So here is an exercise in repetition of the same basic punchline (with a few others thrown in). Make of it what you will. More comics after the jump.

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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Corrupted Comics: Garfield, Cathy, Jump Start

The rest after the jump

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